I carry this with me.
Every waking moment. Every chilling nightmare. Every occasional pleasant dream. It’s a weight in my pocket, a memory of “I love you” and “Don’t forget.” A memory of “I’ll come for you.”
A memory of all those lies.
I like to think if I could only let it go, I’d be free of this burning hatred, free of the ache left in the chasm carved by loss and betrayal. But I hold onto this crumpled, faded, torn photograph because letting go would make me forget those final memories, and I would lose the most important piece of myself.
It is a physical manifestation of an emotional scar, and I hold it when I miss you, to remind myself I’m a fool for thinking such thoughts. I hold it when I hate you, to remind myself how warm your smile was when you loved me. I hold it to remember when everything else has faded away. I hold it when I need to remind myself I can only move forward from here; there’s no going back to this golden moment trapped in a four-inch-by-six-inch rectangle.
My mind isn’t safe to store memories, but here in my hands, this one can never be erased. It’s a curse, but I carry this with me. Every waking moment. Every chilling nightmare. Every occasional pleasant dream. Because no matter how many tears roll down the glossy surface or curses escape from under my tongue, I can’t let you go, even though I don’t love you, I have forgotten, and you never came for me like you promised.
I'm an award-winning fantasy author, artist, and photographer from La Porte, Indiana. My poetry, short fiction, and memoir works have been featured in various anthologies and journals since 2005, and several of my poems are available in the Indiana Poetry Archives. The first three novels in my Chronicles of Avilésor: War of the Realms series have received awards from Literary Titan.
After some time working as a freelance writer, I was shocked by how many website articles are actually written by paid "ghost writers" but published under the byline of a different author. It was a jolt seeing my articles presented as if they were written by a high-profile CEO or an industry expert with decades of experience. I'll be honest; it felt slimy and dishonest. I had none of the credentials readers assumed the author of the article actually had. Ghost writing is a perfectly legal, astonishingly common practice, and now, AI has entered the playing field to further muddy the waters. It's hard to trust who (or what) actually wrote the content you'll read online these days.
That's not the case here at On The Cobblestone Road. I do not and never will pay a ghost writer, then slap my name on their work as if I'd written it. This website is 100% authentic. No outsourcing. No ghost writing. No AI-generated content. It's just me... as it should be.
If you would like to support my work, check out the Support The Creator page for more information. Thank you for finding my website! 🖤
One thought on “Photograph (Sandcastle 14.02)”
This hits me right in the feels <3
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